renegadeRICEcracker

i was schooled in shabu shabu tonight.

ayumi and i went to todai for shabu shabu, and after concernedly watching us not put our meat in fast enough or not skim the foam off the soup, the waiter made a crack about how asian food seemed new to us.

yeah.

one down!

one down! ONE DOWN! ONEDOWNONEDOWNONEDOWN!!!

now i'm going to make tuna helper and watch lots of tv.

"because today isn't like any other day"

"because this morning is special." "because you deserve to be happy." i learned this morning upon entry into my car that these are some of many, many reasons why people go to mcdonald's.

*sigh*

so much fear. yet, so much weariness. i thought i would work a lot more than i have today, but i'm all tired and am now telling myself that this is for the best, because my brain is tired. (it's not laziness, it's "resting.")

i'm going to go "rest" some more. perhaps with the tv on.

i would really love to kill "past connie."

in the past, i would at times, a la isaac, rationalize my disregard for "future connie" by noting that i had no idea who this "future connie" was, might not even like "future connie," and thus owed "future connie" no duty. i knew "present connie," for the most part liked "present connie," and thus generally felt more disposed to act in ways that would please "present connie" over "future connie."

well. being "future connie," i would now like to kick "past connie's" ass.

anyway, nothing exciting going on here. this is pretty much the position i've consistently held for the last four days.

and this is pretty much my view from there.

the locale changes.

bah. soon it will be done, and soon i will be drunk.

it doesn't feel good to be part of the attrition rate.

sean told me today that he and his friends always felt better whenever he talked to me this summer because it was good to see that not everyone was working as hard as they were. i was like, what, because you were happy that if someone was going to fail, it would be me? he responded, "no, it was just good to see that there were people who were... oh, well yeah... i guess so..."

and then he started laughing at me.

he also said that he was sad that we wouldn't be working together long, since i was getting the boot as soon as we got our bar results.

things i don't need in my life right now

include my car getting towed and non-working wireless networks. also corporations. corporations are entirely useless to me. in fact, since they threaten to adversely affect my ability to in any way utilize the technical degree i sort of earned, they are, like, anti-useful. i hate them.

and there's no air conditioning at this coffeeshop.

(i would go into detail about the satisfying rosemary turkey burgers that are available at this locale, but i hesitate to incur the sardonic wrath of certain unnamed brats who seem to find joy in picking away at my already fragile self-esteem. ;) well, okay, i don't really give a crap. but i'm out of time on this computer).

munch'ems are evil.

like, truly evil. i swear they have changed them since they first came out, too. anyway, they are so light and crunchy, and their flavoring is just a touch lighter than you want it to be so that they don't quite satisfy your craving, which means you always want more, and more, and more... gar...

a well stocked apartment is not necessarily the best place for bar study. i can't say that i got quite as much as i meant to today, but i did ingest a nice, wide variety of snacks. i also took a big long nap.

I saw the SI-IGN, and it O-pened up my EYES and i am HAPPY NOW...

ace of base is in my head.

actually, ace of base was in my head for over an hour this morning (just annoying bits of the musical bridges in "the sun" or whatever that crappy song is called). then i noticed all of a sudden that instead, stevie wonder was in my head, singing "i just called to say i love you." now ace of base is back.

i feel that there is cause for concern. i mean, fair enough, when you are studying or doing something mind-numbingly boring, the mind tends to wander off and recover items to entertain you. but... my mind brought back ace of base and stevie wonder???

i have always hated ace of base. and i don't think stevie wonder has even entered my consciousness in the last several years except when that cosby show rerun is on where they all go to his studio and sing together. apparently my subconscious is just partying it up back there with stevie and ace of base. it makes me afraid to go to sleep.

it won't be so bad.

my friend just e-mailed me the following:

One of our classmates was sitting at Starbucks studying. A girl came up to him and asked if she could ask him a couple of questions, being a nice guy, he put down his book and said, sure. He looked over to her study area and saw BarBri books (Illinois BarBri books which makes me very happy). Q1-So what is the difference between personal property and real property. He very patiently answers the question (where I would have pointed and laughed). She appears to get it and then says, right and that matters because only real property can be conveyed in a will. He then corrects her about this. Q2-So what is this whole thing about federal procedure and then having a separate state jurisdiction? Why do we need two?

Moral--we will be fine because there are a ton of idiots out there and a good number of them will be taking the test with us.

i love my friends.

because otherwise, who would send me uplifting things like this?

O to A life, then B and his heirs.

sorry. there's really nothing interesting to write about, i just don't particularly feel like studying anymore. of course, since i decided that hard core crack down study had to start yesterday, now is not the time for me to be babbling about nothing that no one wants to read.

sorry.

if it makes you happy, you can read all about our friend's recently discovered hidden fetish.

yes, we were googling people. constitutional law can only keep you entertained for so long.

jon stewart said we should remove california from the map.

and while i don't usually agree with statements embodying such sentiments, there is this.

i particularly like the reflexology and acupuncture services...

this is only going to get less interesting until the bar...

but at least since my bar course ended i have efficiently time-shifted my sleep schedule so that i stay up late and sleep until noon. now i can try to get back to getting up early so i don't sleep through the bar.

and i've had the last complete wash i can afford, i think. but it was a good day. tana and i went to vong's thai kitchen, which was excellent, and then watched hedwig and the angry inch, which i'd been wanting to see for years (for some reason, it takes me a long time to see movies that i really want to see), and which immediately became one of my favorite movies.

but yeah. i'm going to study. at least until we head to the cove tonight to drink.

peace.

*yawn*

so, stress is starting to set in a little. but it's more stress that fear-stress hasn't set in. if fear-stress doesn't kick in soon and make me start working continuously, i think i'm screwed... oh well...

so what have i been up to...

happy birthday barbara!

tonight we went to chinatown with babs and her parents. between the nine of us, we put away soup, TWELVE dishes, an entire cake, and the red bean soup dessert the restaurant gave us... i hurt...

(and oh, we weren't done here... by the time we finished, those plates were picked CLEAN...)

on tuesday we had girls' night at a professor's house, where a friend was entrusted with house-sitting privileges. and of course, if there's a girls' night, there's ben...

oy. i have to go sleep off my food coma. i'll work tomorrow.

more time-wasters.

what smartasses do with our department of homeland security's tips on what to do in case of terrorist emergency.

and so is this.

my friend called this the matrix on a budget.

this is FABULOUS.

a tribute to barbri.

smudge

we went to see blur last night - they were AWESOME! they played a bunch off of parklife, which made me happy, though they did NOT play parklife itself, which greatly upset me. in the end i did like their closing song, so that appeased me, but i seem to have spent the entire 3-song encore babbling/yelling about how if they did not finish with parklife i would cry. a'course, i was drunk.

though, ahem, i was NOT among those of us who took off after the tour bus... (well, okay, i wasn't among the FIRST of us...). afterward we hit up dunkin' donuts/togo's, which is the ONLY way to finish out a night of drinking. i got the hot pastrami, as usual, but the amount of pastrami delegated to my sandwich was disturbingly small...

i'm up too early.

there was an amazing thunderstorm last night - i love booming thunder and pouring rain (when i'm inside). then again, i would have enjoyed the fact that i woke to thunder and laid awake listening to the storm for an hour much more had i not woken up at 7:30. oh well.

back to my caramel apple french toast. mmm...

yay family day!

my dad and his wife came into town yesterday and made kickASS thai and vietnamese food. after that we lolled around in food comas until we had to go watch my cousin get married.

and there he goes...

one of the highlights of the wedding was bao's best friend talking about how he'd always assumed that bao wouldn't get married because, like himself, bao had never been so good with the ladies. when he got to congratulating them and telling kit how great bao is, he said something about how life is like a rollercoaster with its ups and downs... at which point bao's sister rose shouted from the audience, "how would YOU know???" and everyone laughed at him. all in all, it was a nice affair.

i was so good! open bar, and i only had half a glass of wine...

anyway, i guess i should go study or something... i can't wait until next month and i can do stuff without that continuous overriding feeling of guilt... gar...

the runaway tolerance.

dammit. i thought i'd gotten better. granted, i was hammered any given drinking night in new york. but it took at least a few. and i can generally have a beer (or maybe two? well, no...) with dinner and not even work up a buzz.

weeell... yeah. it was one paltry beer last night before i was buzzing heartily and happily at lucky strike last night. i love that in the two and a half hours that we were there i had two and half beers and tana had five... and /she/ had to drive us home. aish. i'm going to chalk it up to tiredness and excitement to not be studying.

on a random note, wild on! was there last night. at lucky strike. in hyde park.

yeah, that's what i said. weird, right? apparently budweiser was sponsoring them for something and paid them to be there; they said they wouldn't be there for a regular show. which is good - maintains my faith in the, uh, integrity of the show.

the boys called us before we got there to see if we'd... "do stuff" to be on tv. 1) i've never heard disappointment in teddy's voice like i did when i didn't respond with enthusiastic jazz to race over and dive in front of the camera, and 2) we were like, it's not girls gone wild... which i also wouldn't have raced over for. i mean come on - my attention whoriness is not totally indiscriminate...

anyway, i'm now in my last barbri class... ever! (well, hopefully) i flipped out yesterday when i looked at a calendar and saw how little time was left. what i wouldn't give to go back two weeks in time... i would go to every damn one of those classes i missed!!! bah...

okay. i'm out. rock on.

"she'll be back."

um. we went to see t3 last night. all's i have to say is that sometimes there is a price to pay for humoring me. i mean, i knew it would be bad, but i /love/ t2, which for me translates into needing to see the subsequent manglings as opposed to boycotting them for their misguided existence. i stand by my decision.

claire danes has gotten old.

and that's all i have to say about that.

adjusting to change.

so... burns and i have this coffeeshop. it's ours. long hard work went into making it ours. we came everyday. we sat on the same couch. we got to know everyone who works here. we had long discussions analyzing the colorful artwork adorning the walls. it's ours.

but a week after burnsy left chicago, i came back and there was all this change. they added a new table to our corner. they blocked off a corner to fix the ceiling (it's done now). 3 of the people we knew quit (or left in some, uh, other fashion). they started selling mugs. they reprinted the menu. i called up burnsy and was like, dude, if they change the art, i'm done.

last week they changed the art. i almost had a heart attack.

but i think it's going to be okay. i'm too rigid anyway. i'm getting to know some of the new people (and at least one of the "old" people is still here). i'm trying out new tables. i've been ordering different sandwiches.

it looks like i'm going to be okay. it'll be hard, but i'm going to be okay. thank god.

the art of turbulence

so, i kinda like turbulence. i also kinda like earthquakes and raging thunderstorms. i feel that they make life more interesting. but, as with many other things in life, these things must be struck at a balance. for example, while i think earthquakes can be fun, i don't like large bookshelves flying at my head. and while i love booming thunder and bright flashes of lightening, i don't like trees crashing through my windows.

i personally was fine with balance our friendly pilot took on the way through the storm over chicago, but i took it from the hysterical screams and heaving sobs emitting from my compatriots that they were not. to be fair, many of them were sleeping when the plane dropped a bit, but it was over within half a minute.

there is, however, no happy balance to be struck with waiting in a hot stuffy airport for 4 1/2 hours to /see/ if your plane is going to leave.

anyway, i'm back in chicago, and in legal profession to boot. woohoo!

a big thanks to my new york peeps, who made my weekend f*cking fabulous.

"it's not work, connie, it's lying on the floor."

yeah, whatever.

air conditioning...

...is really i think one of man's most important accomplishments. i mean, landing on the moon was great and all that, but when was the last time i went to the moon? i haven't. but air conditioning, now that's another story...

i'm currently lounging around in a lazyboy at jen's trying to motivate to study. i've decided to forego the simulated essay day completely, which perhaps is not the wisest choice but i figure i'll do the performance test that's due this week (it will be my first one - wish me luck), and the essays will be an issue of my learning the material more than my learning how to write (i hope). meh.

yesterday burns and i walked a different part of soho and bought overpriced chattels (well, hers were actually a pretty good deal). we didn't last long before the heat wiped us out, so we headed back to the movie theater and saw jetlag, a cute french romantic comedy.

afterward, we vegged at burnsy's for a bit and then i met jen, carla, chi and hiranda for kickASS sushi at sandobe (on 11th street, between 1st and 2nd ave., black storefront with two red japanese lanterns).

headed to hiranda's to watch sex and the city, and then back to burnsy's to pass out. this has been one exhausting weekend. awesome, but exhausting.

anyway, i'm going to take a look at corporations now, because i've been slacking enough that all of my friends have begun to mommy me. but first i am going to post a couple pictures from taste of chicago last wednesday:

moma, a movie, and more alcohol...

yesterday burns and i slept in for much needed rejuvenation, though it didn't take long in the heat before we were all dead again, and then grabbed bagels on the way to the temporary moma in queens. we didn't find the main exhibit appealing so much, so we whipped through it and were out of there in about an hour. after that we headed to union square and saw the eye, a chinese "horror" flick. it was alright, but seemed torn between being a specific story and a horror movie, and ends up being an uncomfortable inbetween. i liked some aspects of it and wasn't pissed that i saw it, but it wasn't so special, either.

after an awesome dinner at a korean restaurant, burns and i trekked down to the east village and met up with mitch, alyshea, and her friend ari at st. mark's alehouse. i'd been there with mitch, jen, carla et. al. last year, so i insisted that we sit at the same table as last year so as to pretend i had some familiarity with the city and a local hangout.

after several beers, during which i realized that if my friends and i are drinking steadily i will be the only one getting hammered, we headed again for pizza.

i would write about what we did today, but i am absolutely wiped and that's just going to have to wait.

cheers.

eating it... big time.

friday night we went back to williamsburg, visited jen and carla for a bit (ate an undue number of awesome deviled eggs), and then headed to a party on the roof of a sugar factory. we met up with a bunch of burnsy's friends in the midst of a raging mass of williamsburg hipsters, drank a lot of cheap beer, and watched the fireworks.

so far, so good. by this point, burns had headed to a bar to meet her brother, and we all stumbled off to meet them (at least, i was stumbling). we get to this bar, and there's all this free chicken sitting in big rectangular metal trays. so i grab a couple wings and make my way out to the beer garden where everyone was.

our crew was at the back of the patio, and i almost tripped on this step in the last stretch. but it was all good. i made it back, offered up my spare chicken wing, and everyone was like, where the hell did you get that chicken?

so i'm thinking (remember, i'm hammered), well hey, there should be chicken for everyone! i jump up, manuever my way back to the chicken bar, and pile up a little red plate chock full of chicken. i book it back to the patio. book it. i'm flying through the bar, happy with my procurement of all that chicken and...

remember that step? ...well, i didn't.

yeeaaahhhh...

chicken flew everywhere. this is only what remained near the plate.

and i ripped a hole in my jeans.

burnsy said she didn't see it, but they all heard a loud crash and were like, oh, some drunkard just ate it, and then they saw my head pop up.

it was a humbling moment.

yeah.

anyway, after that we headed back to the city and met up with hiranda and paul.

i bought burnsy a rose.

and after that (if you have gone drinking with me before this will impress you because i had at LEAST seven beers that night), we rallied for new york pizza.

ah, i love new york. i'll write more very shortly.

yay burnsy!

ah, new york. and ah, sleeping in. we got up at the nice leisurely hour of 11 (well, i guess burnsy didn't because she somehow had the initiative to get up before me and go running), had brunch, and then we meandered through soho for the afternoon.

burnsy took me into a foofoo flowery pink store called "betsy johnson."

i love soho, and i love shopping, but good lord, it is hotter than hell. of course, it's still nothing to the heat that baked down on us at the cement patio barbeque last 4th. :)

we are currently chilling in burnsy's a/c and then are headed out to williamsburg again to jen and carla's bbq and a sugar factory rooftop bbq.

oy. hot.

new york new york!!!

oy - i am SO full. touched down at 7, made my way through a surprisingly empty la guardia, and got to burnsy's by 8:15. we went to a lil sushi place near her place and i got painfully full - love that dragon maki!

after that we booked over to williamsburg to meet up with jen, carla and chi, and went to a bar out there where a few of burns' friends met us. i had three, count 'em THREE beers and no buzz to speak of... looks like connie is growing a tolerance. not terribly surprising, but who knew that bar study involved so much alcohol???

yay jen and burnsy!

ah, and we stopped off for new york pizza despite the fact that neither of us were hungry... in the slightest. in fact, we were probably still full from our huge ASS dinner, but i insisted because i wanted new york style pizza. (yes, diane, i just liked the idea of new york pizza at 3am). it was a good call, though because somehow burns had been in new york for over a month and had not yet had new york pizza.

and here is a picture from the new york subway system.

okay. exhausted now, and off to bed. peace out.

pop barbri

so i walk into class this morning, the tape starts up, and the professor tells us that we're going to take a 3 hour performance exam this morning.

WHAT?!?!?!

i'm sorry, there will be no "pop" barbri tests. taking random exams out of nowhere is not a skill i need to hone for the bar exam. if you want me to come to class well rested and mentally prepared to sift and read through an hour and a half's worth of crap and then write about that same crap for an hour and a half, i'm sorry, you're going to have to tell me.

i left. i know, i know, i should do one of these performance exam things sooner or later but i keep waking up between 6:30-7am for absolutely no freaking reason and all but for reasons completely beyond my control, and i'm just not up to it. sorry.

i saw 28 days later last night. it was a good movie. i liked the storyline, the camera angles, and the soundtrack (except for a couple really cheesy parts). it also freaked the shit out of me and i think i cut circulation off to ted's arm for a lil while...

by the way, this is a fabulous new version of gay bar.