renegadeRICEcracker

visited places

so, i thought i'd been to more countries. the problem is that i don't remember my childhood trips very clearly. like, i know i've been in belgium, but i don't remember if we spent a few days there, or if we only passed through. same with amsterdam. so i left a bunch of places off to be safe.

create your own visited country map

and good lord, there's no way i can remember all the states i've been to (i know we took a series of road trips to various amusement parks when i was younger). but i do know i've been to ALABAMA!!! woo hoo!

create your own visited states map

replacement smokers

the girl in the ad said that they haven't found a replacement for her father yet.

silly girl, that's not what the tobacco industry means when they say replacement smoker.

this is dumb.

i'm watching the new donald trump reality show. it's dumb. i may have a bias against the show because the commercial has a chick saying that she will wear a short skirt if that's what it takes. but it also looks dumb.

my lack end table is wobbly. one of the legs is loose. this happened before, too. perhaps someone is sneaking into my apartment and unscrewing one of the legs just a bit, every day.

ooh, the girls are going golfing because they won the last competition. it's very pretty, but i am mainly envious because i'm always jealous when i see people driving golf carts.

15 minutes of fem

we went to 15 minutes of fem tonight, which is a stand-up competition of female comedians. each girl gets, well, 15 minutes, and then the audience votes. the winners go on to the finals.

it was funny. we learned about annoying mothers at gymborees, pushing people off of garages, angry residue from high school encounters with asian fetishes, and gonohrrea. i liked it.

we got a drink around the corner until it got too loud (they for some reason decided to blast dance music on a monday night in the dim, half-lit restaurant/bar playing sports on the tvs over the bar), and then went on an abbreviated wander looking for a porn store because one of the people we were with suddenly decided that this was the thing to do. after wandering a couple hollywood blocks, we convinced her that all the sex stores were closed and headed out.

now i have to go because i'm engrossed in elimidate - it's one of the rare ones with male contestants. woo-hoo!

scary eye puffs

i got my eyes checked today.

i had to do the eye puff thing. i hate the eye puff thing. it was not as bad as it used to be though, so maybe i have toughened up. that and it no longer looks like a scary probe is coming at your eye.

i saw a comedian the other day making fun of how stressed out he gets when the optometrist is asking which is better, "1... or 2? 1... or 2?" feels like he shouldn't fuck it up, even though he knows it's not a test.

so i thought i'd take a more relaxed approach. when the optometrist asked if i could make out the really tiny letters, i looked for a few seconds, and then said, "no." there was a long pause, and then he said, "you can't make out even a couple? why don't you try a little harder?"

so much for that.

becoming a number

so, i'm filling out the NALP survey for the class of 2003 (yes, i do these things, i just do them months late). under "BASIC EMPLOYMENT STATUS (Mark one only)," one option is, "Working - type of job unknown."

interesting.

absence of good

so, i know i should go to sleep, but after the simpsons, friends, and elimidate, i find myself drawn to this stephen baldwin movie. it's not so bad. it's not so good.

it is extremely reminiscent of silence of the lambs (imdb suggests silence of the lambs if you like it). i mean, it's kind of different. but stephen baldwin is tracking a serial killer. at one point, he is talking to a psychologist, who informs him of the serial killer's age, sex, that he wants to be a police man... they have the guy's name, they know he's really smart, they figure out what he's doing, and now they're just chasing him while simultaneously battling the skepticism of their supervisor.

i really shouldn't watch this, i'm going to get scared and then i won't be able to sleep. the music is getting scary again. i would guess that stephen has found him, but there's still an hour left. perhaps they will have a close shave but the killer will get away, only to be caught later.

damn the suspense. i can't flip the channel, but now i'm all tense.

damn. poor stephen is cracking under all the pressure (his son was killed accidentally 5 months ago). his supervisor doesn't believe him now, but they'll see that he's right.

fuck having a good attitude.

i'm tired. i want to go home. i just forced myself to down an entire cup of coffee because i caught myself angrily glaring at senior associates who were trying to be helpful and realized that this probably isn't good for my career. once my caffeine kicks back in i should be able to slide back into my "isn't this great experience!" demeanor.

becoming a real attorney!

i think i have officially begun drinking alone. not an insane amount, it's not like i drink myself into unconsciousness, but i figure just because i get home too late to go out with people and drink doesn't mean i shouldn't still be able to drink. every night.

it's good to be around good people.

i was in the midst of drafting part of a motion when one of the senior associates i work for popped his head in and asked if i could come into his office for a moment. i said sure, finished my sentence, and then headed in.

in his office, he held up a bottle of wine, said he snagged it from upstairs, and asked if i would like some. this, as opposed to his needing to talk about work, was the only reason i had been summoned.

back in my office and a couple glasses of wine later, i am in a much better mood -- i don't even mind that i'm here on a saturday night. of course, this might also have something to do with the fact that i am flushed red and have a slight buzz.

well, you know.

fuckin' l.a. cab service

so, last night we went out to silverlake or somewhere thereabouts for an art gallery opening. it was a good time - it was like a house party (there was a keg at a provisional outside bar) with art. there were mixed opinions on some of the angry, sexualized and jarring paintings/collages, and the handmade jewelry pieces were only really nice until you saw the little "$180" placard next to them, but the alcohol was cheap and a good time was had by all.

at any rate, when the gallery closed down for the evening, v's friends were going to another bar and lived in the area, and sean had four in his car already, so we didn't fit. no problem, right? we could just call a cab.

wrong. apparently this is not a viable course of action in a non-hollywood area on a friday evening. we called for a cab, and they told us it would take 15-20 minutes. fine. we waited 15-20 minutes, and fended off a group of guys whose best attempt at taking girls home involved free commentary on body parts.

then we called again. we were told to try another service because they didn't have any cabs in the area. so we did. they didn't answer. so we called a different one, and they said they didn't have any cabs. we called back the first one, and they said they'd call if a cab came near us.

meanwhile, we are standing alone on a creepy, deserted street (the number of people lessened as we got further in time from the closing of the gallery), under the dim light of a b of a.

finally, after 45 minutes, we see a cab and flag him down. we persuaded him to pick us up and ignore the call he was going to answer by promising him a large tip. i was so happy to finally be in a cab that i ended up tipping the guy, like, $20 bucks, and he gave us his company's number in case we are ever in that area again.

that first cab company never did fucking call me back.

and this is why everyone in l.a. has a car.

TIVO!!!!!!!!!!

my tivo came today!!!!!!!

one day i will get it set up. until then, i will dream about that day. and allllll the days after it...

yay!

i watched the ad clips.

it does look like her. apparently she is skinny now.

but i still don't believe that this result happened from the use of diet pills alone.

trim spa?

so... there are all these ads lately that claim that anna nicole has trimmed down and looks fabulous, all thanks to trim spa.

are we to actually believe that: 1) anna nicole has undergone a massive transformation into a born-again slender and sleek sex symbol, and that 2) this transformation is the result of diet pills as opposed to, oh, say, liposuction?

granted, she looks much thinner on the trimspa page (yes, i looked it up. no, i have not watched the video clips of their ads, but believe me, i will when i get home). but doesn't this look like it's just a really old photo?

and am i supposed to believe that this was a diet? although, this particular "after" picture doesn't even look like it's actually her body. clearly this calls for more research.

yay rubberbands!

today i started a rubberband ball. my inspiration came from an associate who has a huge rubberband ball in his office. he started it a few years ago, and has strict rules governing it (you can't just buy rubberbands for it - they have to come to you through the normal course of business or something like that). anyway, rubberbands have been gathering in my office since i began, so today i knotted together a core and started adding them on.

i've spent too much time today obsessively bouncing my rubberband ball on my desk (it's about the size of a superball) and eagerly awaiting documents that come with rubberbands.

and this, my friends, is why i became a lawyer.

attorney/magician extraordinaire

last night we celebrated vanessa's birthday in chinatown.

at her party, there was much discussion of "figgy," the attorney/magician extraordinaire. figgy (i don't remember his real name) is a 70ish old guy who kicks it at the rainbow room a lot, and come closing, everyone is welcome at his place. he has a phat house up on the hill, with a gorgeous view of l.a. where he threw huge rockin' guns 'n roses parties in the 80s. he supposedly does magic tricks, though it's not clear if he does them at the rainbow, for everyone at his house, or only for people invited into a back room in his house. several of my friends have passed drunken evenings to wake up the next morning in the magician's bed (pants on).

vanessa had his pen, which says under his name (i don't remember it, but it has "figgy" as the middle nickname), "attorney/magician" and his phone number. we all piled into cars and headed out there. that's mitch in front of one of the magician's cars.

i never saw the magician (i was told that he was in the back room with a young woman). instead, we sat around his huge house and watched an eclectic stream of people enter and wander around his living room and patio by the light of a single bare lightbulb, admidst the hum of many hushed voices.

it was one of the more surreal places i've been in l.a.

seeing spots

toxic fumes are being emitted from the office two doors down - a partner is out of town for the weekend and they took the opportunity to refinish the surfaces of his desk and counter/shelf thingy.

i wonder how much i can get done before i pass out.

AND

I taste like Peanut Butter. I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

i was told that if i weren't peanut butter, i would be alcohol.

I taste like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

i have nothing to say.

windows 98?!

which OS are you?

apparently i am not cool enough for my mac. *sigh*

going soft in the head

so, i'm watching smallville (yes, cheesy, but i like it), and i think i'm actually getting too emotional for it. it's the first time i've seen it in a while, and i got all sad when the nemesis of the day figured out clark's weakness and shot him with a kryptonite bullet. it probably has something to do with his big, sad eyes. come to think of it, his expression of emotion is much like jkt's description of frodo.

anyway. the new year was good. we got really drunk. on another occasion, we had sushi. then we got drunk again.

tana and i saw avenue Q, which was fantastic.

then the big snow storm in chicago obliterated ata's flight schedule and tana and i spent a nice long day at la guardia. three hours after her flight took off (3 1/2 hours late), mine was finally cancelled. ben came through in a clutch and let me stay with him in hell's kitchen. i stayed on his air mattress, which we inflated by foot pump.

that's all. cheers.