i watched transamerica last night with my mom. i wasn't sure how she'd take it, but i told her i'd been wanting to see it and that it was supposed to be really good. we both really liked it. it was sweet and funny and touching and sad. i love that my mom watched it with me, and liked it. i love my mom.
and it only took 2 1/2 days of voir dire. stupid attorneys. now the entire jury hates the plaintiffs' attorney because he did such a terrible job.
i'm tired. i got back in time for lunch and went with my buddy to cpk. now i'm sucking down iced coffee and trying to wake up.
last night i went to the hollywood bowl to see jose gonzalez, herbert, zero 7 (featuring sia and jose gonzalez), and gotan project. i got business development tickets from work, and we were in the "pool circle." it was insane. we valeted, and then a guy walked us past the turnstiles directly into our box, which was in that first level of boxes against the stage. so there were a couple boxes in front of us, an aisle, and then us. we were, like, 25 feet from the stage -- i could see the performers as clearly as you could see them on the big screens to the side. we were close enough that when people around us were yelling stuff out, the performers could hear them and responded. crazy.
i really liked herbert. he was in an orange robe and boxers (they were all in pajamas). jose gonzalez was also great. and sia is really cute, all jumping around like a bunny -- i thought she would be much more staid, since that "breathe me" song is so mellow. she did not sing "breathe me," which made me sad (though i now owe my friend two drinks next time we go out because she yelled out "play breathe me!" at the top of her lungs -- twice). loved zero 7. gotan project was good, but we were all passing out by then, so we left a little early.
*sigh* back to work.
i just noticed a cut (a long, thin one) healing on the side of my knee. i do not remember getting this cut.
the stray shopping cart project.
my coworker (the one who appeared in my zombie dream) sent this link to me. faaantastic.
at this point i'm not even willing to try to raise undue hardship because this judge doesn't let anyone off and will just postpone for a couple months, which is not going to make things any better for me. i'm just hoping to ride it out and not get on a jury.
the judge did not do an undue hardship inquiry at the beginning. so we had to wait outside for an extra half-hour because the dumbass defendant struck up conversation with some of the potential jurors (HELLO?!) and the judge had to interview them separately about it. then he gave us instructions, a 20 minute break, and then resumed voir dire. but by then it was 11:35 already, so we broke for lunch at noon. which means that i came back to the office and have to get work done, but then have to go BACK for more voir dire (i'm not even in the jury box!!!) PROBABLY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!! if he doesn't do an undue burden inquiry soon, I'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO GO TOMORROW! and i can't even work or listen to music! i have to listen to all the dumb questions! ARGH!!!!
but you know what i love? the onion has started hard copy distribution in LA. so on the way in i was able to stop by a little paper stand thingy and pick one up. yay onion!
anyway. i should get back to work because i can't stay super late because i have KARAOKE tonight! woo-hoo! granted, i maybe shouldn't bitch about how crazy busy i am at work since i'm sure it's compounded by the fact that i keep leaving early (or, rather, at decent times) for social events. i left in time to make drag queen bingo at hamburger mary's yesterday. yay drag queen bingo! one of our friends got mad that she was losing, so when the winner had to run through the restaurant (the drag queen and everyone else chants, "pelt her! pelt her! all the way down and all the way back!" over and over as the winner runs through and everyone else throws their crumpled bingo sheets at her), my friend threw a chicken bone. she missed though, and hit a guy who came over and made her bend over the table so he could spank her (that's what the drag queen does if you call out "bingo!" by accident -- only with a paddle). the thing is, he doesn't work there. and the whole time, his girlfriend was sitting at their table with this look on her face like, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?!?!"
i just got into the office from jury duty. i am exhausted. i had to get there at 7:30 (after going to bed around 2), i was called in the first panel and had to go to the criminal courthouse and go up to the maximum-security floor for voir dire for a 1-month trial, i was excused for undue hardship (intermittent family leave -- i could do a one-week trial, but longer would interfere with doctor appointments), then i had to go back to the criminal jury assemblyroom, and in the afternoon got called for ANOTHER trial (20 days), this time back in the civil courthouse, but it was too late for voir dire and I HAVE TO GO BACK TOMORROW. ARGH!!!!!!!!!! so even though i am 100% sure that i will not end up serving on this jury, i have to take MORE time from work just to go and sit there and tell them i can't do it.
ugh.
by the way, the difference between the civil and criminal courthouses is the soap. powdered soap in the criminal courthouse. the kind that is all grainy and feels gross. it creeps me out. i'm glad i don't have to go back there tomorrow.
i have jury duty tomorrow morning. at 7:30 am. oy. i was supposed to take gangai (this insanely fabulous red coconut curry soup noodle stuff my dad's wife makes) to work to share with a couple friends (my dad's wife made dinner for me and some friends on sunday and we have leftovers that i have to eat), but now i can't, because there is NO WAY that i was going to go to the store, buy noodles, cook them, pack everything up, take everything to the office to put in the fridge, and then get to the courthouse for jury duty by 7:30. :-(
i feel like it's stupid because basically i have to go and sit there all day, finally get called in a group, go through voir dire, and then immediately get kicked because i'm a lawyer. they should just exempt me. argh.
i want to see little miss sunshine. i keep hearing it's fantastic. i am still haunted by images of the descent. i thought i got through it, and pulled up some pictures so i could look something up, and got all scared again. i'm not so smart sometimes.
anyway. i should somehow make myself go to sleep because i have to get up at 6 am!! ugh!!
SO BORED!!!!
i've been drafting discovery all day. one of my buddies is on vacation. i did take a walk with one of my friends to the cathedral nearby, so that was kinda nice. i've drank a lot of coffee. i'm still bored.
this was a fun weekend. lots of family time, hanging out, birthday banquet for sister, debauchery at rainbow room plus ensuing greasy food at astroburger, nissei week taiko performances, dinner with friends and family. tired now.
excited about upcoming drag queen bingo and karaoke. but bored right now.
there is a big difference between four greyhounds and four beers, as it turns out.
i am getting old.
you know what's hard? hearing other people complain about mundane shit right now. like, yeah, this stuff is annoying, and that's too bad, but i really don't need to hear about how it's just hard for x to just live a normal life because he's so distraught by y. i'm like, really? really? you're really just gonna keep going on and on about this? and then what's worse is that people sometimes try to relate their problem to yours, like, "oh, i'm sure you know exactly what i mean about how it's hard to go on with day-to-day stuff with all these other things going on." and then i just want to backhand them across the face and tell them to shut up.
i'm sorry, that's a lot of hostility. other people have problems too. i'm just not in a very good place to hear all about them.
ps -- so timely. not 5 minutes after i posted my above little rant, someone came up to me on the verge of crying because she is having such a bad day. the florist says that they don't have enough vases to cover the reunion she's been planning, the concierge at a hotel won't answer to tell her about good restaurants that she's supposed to find for the partner she works for, and meanwhile she meant to take the day off and her stuff at home is not getting done.
you know, when she first came up to me, she said, "so how is your day going?" i could tell that she needed to vent/cry and i am in one of those very rare moods where i just do not care at all, so i said, "terrible, actually. the entire week has been terrible." this doesn't deter her at ALL. she just goes right into how in savannah she can't find any good non-seafood restaurants.
really? you're really going to go on with this? i feel a little bad because she clearly needed a hug but then, you know... she knows what is going on with me... and i feel like you need to be a little aware sometimes if someone doesn't seem that receptive to being your ear for the day.
anyway. i'm going to go home.
the things that were making this last week super bad have not changed, and one of them has gotten worse, but at the same time, there are, like, 8 million other things going on. it's all very strange. so i'm about to crack apart from depression and stress but then also intermittently entertained by various other, say, distractions. it's all very interesting. i'm on a little rollercoaster ride every day.
i'm tired. i had 7 courses of beef with my dad and a few friends today. that was fun. then a couple of us checked out the golden gopher downtown. i liked it. it's a hip kind of divey. definitely more my kind of thing than the standard, though that place has its moments, too.
um... i went to wa sushi last night and am headed to east west tomorrow night. we are having a birthday lunch for my sister on saturday. sunday is the last day of nissei week and i'm going to go watch ayumi play taiko. yay!
i'm tired. goodnight.
after a couple months of mostly being in denial and functioning fairly normally, everything is sort of hitting the fan again. i feel like i'm slowly drowning... in something gelatinous and thick, maybe... and i'm struggling to keep my head up so i don't choke. i haven't felt this shitty in a long time.
i went to see the descent tonight. and, what i've confirmed for myself is, i am not a scary movie person anymore. i simply cannot fucking take it. i mean, the movie was pretty good. but now it's 2:50 and i am watching tv and playing poker after driving around for a while because i was too keyed up to go to sleep. it's a good thing that i don't live around a cave with scary monsters or i would never be able to sleep again. (it was a factor in my decision to go that it wasn't in a setting that i live in. seeing a scary movie a couple years ago about people who stay at work late was a really bad idea.)
i didn't used to be this much of a pansy. i used to read tons of stephen king and see scary movies all the time. though maybe that's why my head is all messed up now. anyway. scarrry.
PS -- how sad am i that i can't find pics of the hot chick who played juno in the movie?
eewwwww.
i am spending just a few more minutes losing money online before going to bed. i am getting bad cards. and then playing poorly with them. i've lost $60 today. :(
i haven't blogged in a while. let's see... what is there to talk about? i have been going out to dinner and to bars a lot. last thursday i made an over-under bet for number of mullets at here and lost... by a lot (it's friday that has mullets, not thursday!), and now i owe my friend dinner.
last weekend i went to chicago and now have gnarly bruises on my inner thigh and hips (from whirlyball, you perverts). i ate lots of good food and got to hang out with lots of different people, which was nice.
since i've been back i've been spending lots of time with my mom. she started a new chemo regimen yesterday (they put in a portacath last friday) because she stopped responding to the other treatment. so far she has been feeling okay, though nauseous. this is an intense regimen, though, so we're expecting it to get worse. i think when i got back from chicago i realized how much i was wigging out underneath everything. i was all freaked out when her tumor marker shot up a couple weeks ago, and i just sort of pushed into uber-functional mode and avoided thinking about what everything meant. not that i'm really dealing with it now. i don't know. but i'm going to be taking more time off from work to take her to her appointments, which will be more frequent now. i'm just trying to spend time with her.
and on that lovely uplifting note, i'm going to go to bed. talk to you later.