i have a tension headache. yesterday all of a sudden i started getting those sharp, irregular pains in the back of my head, and no amount of ibuprofen made it go away. it is still here. boo.
anyway. i thought i should post something because my site was blank. but there is nothing exciting to report.
oh, ayumi and brian gave me raving rabbids 2, and that is a lot of fun. :)
i have been in a funk. i don't like it. i am having more trouble being productive and my place is a mess. i guess i am ready to go back to work or something, i need more to keep me busy and i feel so useless, and i think that the more i feel this way the more i just don't want to do do anything but lay around and watch tv or read. though i guess soon i won't have time like this and if i'm depressed maybe i should just let myself lay around and do nothing. but i can't for some reason -- i can't kick this feeling bad if i'm not doing something all the time.
anyway.
things are fine. i went snowboarding on monday and am going again next week. i made cardamom-lime sweet rolls last sunday. i saw an old college friend last night.
blah. okay bye.
i hate throwing old things out. but i should throw away (donate ) all my cassettes, right? i am never going to listen to them again. i will keep the stupid tapes my sister and i made when we were younger.
i also feel bad about souvenir type things people gave me. things that came from good friends or family i am keeping. but i have some things that clearly came from somewhere else, but i don't remember from whom or where. so... i guess i will toss those too, right?
i keep getting little paranoid attacks that i will accidentally throw away something that means a lot to me because i didn't see that it was in somewhere else. but that probably won't happen, right? i am pretty anal about such things.
i am going to try to unpack a few more boxes today, then go to spinning, then meet friends for dinner. i will be so proud of myself if i can be so productive.
part of all the unfun stuff i need to do is unpacking the loads of stuff i had at my mom's, sorting everything, rearranging stuff in my new place, and finding new homes for everything while throwing out as much as i can. this all sucks, but i've been trying to force myself to do some because i need to figure out a way to make economical use of my space.
anyway. i just went through a box of old correspondence from college. i threw out some of it -- i figure there's no use in keeping birthday cards from people i barely remember, and i was never able to actually commit to collecting things like concert/movie stubs so i may as well toss the few i do have. but overall this very slow process leaves me (as one would expect) feeling really nostalgic. it is nice to read letters from good friends, but i also get a little sad reading letters from people who were once friends but later not. like when you meet someone and click but then later end up not liking each other (or one of you doesn't like the other or something). seeing things that remind me of the before part of the friendship make me sad -- it's like this simpler time has passed and you just can't get it back. i guess not so different from finding memorabilia from a relationship that went bad.
anyway. not really a huge deal. just brings up old stuff to think about. though thinking about that stuff also makes me really happy to be older. i feel like you just shed insecurity and neuroses layer by layer as you get older -- i was talking with a friend a little bit ago about how we are just so much more confident and at peace with ourselves now. (though i guess it hasn't been just straight improvement over life, there are situations where you can go downhill for a stretch -- but you get what i mean.) it makes life a lot easier -- thinking about high school and college also reminds me of so many things that i am happy not to worry about anymore.
enough babble. i am basically just avoiding more unpacking. back to it. happy new year!